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Chia Adventures: When the redneck says "hold my beer"

May 29, 2022 — Nalioth

The point of the chia is to come up with edible methods of ingestion. This path is not for the squeamish.


T'other day I decided to try another recipe for a smoothie, but it didn't turn out too smooth at all.

After reading a recipe, I bought some fresh vegetables:
- beets (on the stalk)
- carrots
- celery
- one Granny Smith apple (to add a bit of sweetness)

I was aiming for 72 ounces (three 24-ounce canning jars) of this mixture, so I mixed appropriate amounts of the above with some lime juice & salt.

I figured that since I had a food processor, I didn't need to worry about that "juicer" thing the recipe mentioned.

As it turns out, the food processor I have does not have enough grunt to demolish root vegetables to a fine consistency.

This concoction (after running on "puree" for some minutes) was like drinking soupy sand.

The results also smelled of the farmland it was grown in (not sure if this was due to me not peeling the beets [I scrubbed the shizzle out'em with stiff bristle brush instead]) or including the beet leaves.

I was able to drink some in a 50/50 mix with store-bought tomato juice, but that ingestion method would've led to over a gallon of drinkums.

Ultimately, I ended up pouring most of it down the drain.

So, next time I go to the store, I will buy some canned beets & carrots and see what I get with that.

The fresh beets & carrots would've ruined the immersion blender (which is why I used the food processor), but the celery would not have, nor the apple (if it were chopped finely enough).

Note 1: When the recipe says "use a juicer", one should probably heed the instructions

Note 2: If you could get past the farmland smell, this stuff didn't taste bad at all.

Note 3: None of these chia injestion vectors have any added sugar or other chemicals.

Note 4: This slurry was so thick, it bogged down my immersion blender when I was mixing in the chia seeds.

Dislosure: The following links are affiliate links. This mean that at zero cost to you, Novarata.net will earn an affiliate commission if you click the link and finalize a purchase.

Chia seeds
24 ounce wide mouth canning jars
Leak proof widemouth jar lids
Food processor
Immersion blender

Tags: chia, cooking, food, general-interest

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